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In The Midnight Lands

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22. You guys are f*ckers.

Izzy_Indigo

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Well I can honestly say now I don’t know why.

hazy sunday cartonised cropped

Other than young men have a healthy preoccupation with what hangs between our legs - and we do stupid shit.

Very stupid shit.

(We were also the guys, lest it be forgotten, who, caught short one Easter weekend, invented The Hazy Sunday: shots of port and bourbon, followed by a grape juice chaser. We liked it so much we drank if for a year.)

To my knowledge, no girl in our crew was ever tempted to tame the tiger. Smart.

Sam had never been initiated and he returned from the toilet now with a faintly disgusted look to find his time had come.

The situation was explained to him.

"And you want me to - "

“Rub it on your balls, bro.”

Sam's expression left us in no doubt as to what he thought of this proposition.

"Don't worry, we've all done it," coaxed Darius.

Joseph, Tim and I nodded.

"But. Why?"

It was a good question, a million dollar question.

"Sam, you’ve got to tame the tiger, at least once," Tim said. "It’s a bonding experience. You want to be bonded don’t you?"

"It’s the bonding I’m worried about.”

But Sam wasn't immune to our purposeful stares, our crowding intent, as none of us had been before him, helped as it was by the generous joint we'd just smoked.

He took a small amount onto his finger.

"More than that," said Darius. He took a larger amount and turned away, fumbled at his pants. When he’d finished, he turned back to find us all wearing the same predatory grins.

"Oh, man, I can't believe you've just done that," I said.

"What?" said Sam. "You guys all have."

"Nah, bro. We just wanted to see if you would," said Tim. "I mean, who rubs Tiger Balm on their balls?"

Sam squirmed, the effects already and obviously being felt. He peered at us, worried now. An interestingly hysterical edge entered his tone. "You're joking right? You've done it before, right?"

"You know, I wouldn't worry Sam," Joseph mused philosophically. "I'm sure you couldn't buy it over the counter if it could do you any real harm. But, bro, you're going to have some pretty hot balls for a while."

We collapsed in hysterics; were bent over in stitches.

"You guys are fuckers," Sam cried casting about for a bottle of water. “Fuckers. Fuckers. Fuckers.”

We let it play out, laughing our arses off all the while, but stopped him just as he was about to douse his pants, let him know we had all in fact tamed the tiger as well. It took some time and some convincing.

After he'd finally put away the bottle of water he shot us one last dark, dark look. "Fuckers."

It kept us amused all the way back to the Trance Zone.

Later, Sam was to get a hug from a cute girl who told him he smelled delicious and wanted to know what aftershave he wore. He didn't know how to explain it was the smell of Tiger Balm wafting up from the front of his pants.

* * * *

This blog is a story. Each post picks up from the last.

If you are new, start at the bottom with post 1 and then work your way up. 

:)

* * * *

Enjoying what you're reading? Please take the time to follow the blog, like and comment.

Your support means a lot.

Also, sharing is caring. 

:)

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